|
Wow. Love. Quite a subject. It's alot to talk about. Let's see, where to start..... I can't just pull love out of a hat. I have a hard time saying what love is. Honestly, now that I've reached college, love has almost become more of a mystery. I keep wanting it to be tangible, but it's just not working out. I know damn well how to show my affection for people, but sometimes I'm afraid people will feel smothered. Oh, that and the first girl I dated in college kind of ruined that. I can't say that... We really didn't know eachother. We thought we did right away, but I think we thought we were completely different people. Make sense? good.. Now, I'm completley oblivious to what's going on with other people. They honestly could be smacking me on the face with a letter telling me of their undying affection, and I wouldn't know it (actually, no one's really done that yet, so I couldn't say for sure... point being: it takes quite a bit). Until someone tells me, I don't know what's going on.
As a Christian, I am to love Christ, therefore he's my obvious first love. But my earthly first love would be Laurel. Golly, when I was a wee lad of thirteen, I fell in "love". I don't know why I did, I just wanted to be with her, and hold her hand, and hear her talk. For Valentine's Day, I took her to a fancy italian resturant, where she ordered a fairly expensive meal, as did I, and we proceeded to eat and make light of the world. I payed for all of it. Oh, it was heaven. The next week, she "dumped" me. Ouch. Luckily, we're still friends. Anyway, I haven't found my next love yet.
The only problem with love right now is: A) I don't have a car. B) I'm always poor. C) I hang out with WAY too many insanely immature young men. I'm a college student, go figure. So, all of that... yeah, apparently to some girls that's not a good enough excuse ;-)
Love to me, I suppose, is without definition. The best comprehension of love I've heard states: Love is a bond between two people, where they are at one in the soul. I suppose the closest I came before now to love was my first REAL relationship, which I screwed up in. I don't know why we broke up, I guess I got scared that we would have taken things too far (yes, there's a 'too far', I have limits) or something. Anyway, for someone that I truly did love, I hardly talk to her anymore, if at all. *sigh*. After her was a girl I was completely head over heels for. Can't tell you why, I think it's just the way she was. I know now that I can't ever be in a relationship with her, she's just odd. But I miss her, and the short time we were together. Of course, I told her that about a month after we stopped dating, and I screwed over just about any friendship that we could have had. I'm trying to make up for that now, but I'm not imagining her trusting me not to like her or something. Anyway. My first college relationship was totally wack. Neither her nor I knew the other person at all. We though we did, almost knew we knew eachother, but ended up being completely wrong. Now I'm dating a girl, and this has been my best relationship ever.
Becky, you get your own paragraph. Becky is a junior at UK, and lives in my dorm. At first I felt a little awkward about our relationship, but at the same time, it's the best ever. We're extremely casual with everything (not sex, mind you) and we're stupid together. Our first date was just fun. We went to dinner and had a good time, and that's it. I don't know what to look forward to, but I guess (and this is a quote) "love is a decision you make from moment to moment". No, I'm not dropping the "L"-bomb, but I mean like, loving a person, not LOVE. Anyway....
Oddly enough, I'm still infatuated, to some extent with people I have dated previously. Not in a bad way, like, I'm not obsessed with them, but at the same time I can never forget them. Ever. Well, that's enough for now.
This short addition on the end here is for one person, and one person alone, and I don't know if she'll ever see it. However, you know who are. Point being: I know what love is, and there are no words for it :-)
|
